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21.05.2022

Рођени смо зато што је то једноставно имало смисла

У подножју планине у далекој земљи, надирала је најлепша вода овог света.
Убрзо постаје река где се накупљају јата риба.
Гладног медведа који се храни тим рибама хвата ловац.
Продаје га на тржишту и ћерци купује шналу.
Онда дођоше зли људи и украдоше све.
То се десило тачно усред историје, још док је Бог био беба.
Сузе које је мајка исплакала натопише земљу што заудара на пепео,
ожари их сунце и оне испарише у кишни облак.
 
Исти облаци су прешли океан и спустили се над пустињом која није видела кишу 5 месеци.
Писац који је преживео пијући кишницу се вратио у домовину и написао песму.
Када су младићи, певајући исту песму, послани на прве линије фронта,
девојка којој су разнели главу се вратила земљи без да је ико приметио.
 
На том месту су израсла велика стабла која су посекли да би створили град.
Док се дизао дим у небеса, родили смо се са прљавим лицима.
Људи убијени са добрим намерама, људи који се сналазе са лошим намерама.
Наши животи су спашени јер смо остали по страни. Рођени смо зато што је то једноставно имало смисла.
 
Наше вредности обешене о небодере пуштају крваве сузе
јер људи којима је потрошња једина врлина бацају камење на њих.
Уметник који не успева да заради новац ломи свој кист
и живи на подвожњаку воза, увек пуним разметљивим људима
Песме су направљене тако да пашу емоцијама које људи осећају,
те кад си тужан слушај ту песму, а усамљени људи нека слушају ону.
'Не можете ме преварити', помишљаш док ти се сумња накупља.
Све постаје сумњиво до те мере да више не верујеш људима, па те категоришу као болесника.
 
Моје слабашно срце гладује и чезне за више трагедија.
Странац који је изложио своj правду, без икакве кривице обезглављује
21.05.2022

Рита

Ако ћеш да напустиш, у реду је,
вратићу све ствари које си ми дала.
Сат, ЦД-ове, возарину,
све осим твоје љубазности.
 
Ходам сам поред пруге,
али испод расвете ми се указују две сенке.
То је твој дух, и ако си заиста то ти, срећан сам.
Светлост нестаје и потпуно сам сâм.
 
Мислио сам да се ствари неће променити,
али није било начина да то буде истина.
Но, ти си ме уверила у то,
као неки сплеткаш или мађионичар.
Зар не, Рита?
 
Не плачем за људима који нису отишли.
Не плачем за стварима које нису покварене.
'Добро сам и сâм', могу да кажем ако је лаж,
али пошто су то речи, свакако их могу рећи.
 
У соби се чују само тихи фрижидер
и смејање из телевизора.
Баш би било добро кад бих могао да видим осећања.
Заправо, не, не желим то. Било би окрутно.
 
Ти, која желиш да живиш у корист других,
и ја, који желим да живим само за себе.
Као кад зупчаници не одговарају један другоме,
баш тако, звучао је наш смех.
 
Када бирамо једну ствар,
то значи да се решавамо друге,
и то је реду. Послушно ћу отићи у канту
и отпратити те. Зар не, Рита?
 
Ти, која не плачеш за себе,
чак и онда кад ти је најтеже.
Зашто си онда баш ти заплакала,
заплакала пре мене?
 
Увек мислим само о себи
и никад не пазећи на друге,
ако не будем добро бирао своје речи,
некога ћу засигурно повредити.
 
Увек мислим само о прошлости
и никад не пазећи на будућност,
као да ходам окренут леђима,
засигурно ћу се спотаћи.
 
Не плачем за људима који су остали
и јер планирам да разумем то,
више не желим да живим само за себе,
него желим да се смешим за неког другог.
Баш као ти.
 
Не плачем за заборављеном прошлошћу,
нити за временом које није прошло.
Смејали смо се заједно, годишња доба пролазе,
време тече и то је то.
 
17.12.2020

World Resolution

From a top-down perspective, colors look like laws of the world.
If you become the party of interest, staring makes it look like crude grafitti.
Impossible things have happened more times than I can count. All while you were alive.
Each time, you cast your eyes down and pretended it didn't happen. Now, at last you've forgotten.
 
Both tragedies and comedies have the same capacity.
While listening to BGM at several mega units, I'm clinging to life.
 
Begging the broken world in tears, as expected we didn't have any of it.
Human talent too was the resolution of a world like that.
Today too, we pushed our way through the cruel overcrowding, exhausted from the things we must do.
The resolution of the world matches the proof of our existence we leave behind.
Your point of view. My point of view. What do you see?
 
Deceiving and being deceived, when you get fed up and plug your ears
I understand how you feel. But because of that we will part for life.
It's already too late now. Good and evil and such. More importantly, we have to reconnect them.
Burnt out light. You need light at night, if nothing else.
 
There's a storm outside, it's disastrous but you
skate so defensively and laugh. You fight against it.
 
At that place only for you, don't close your eyes and look at it.
Each and every point of view restitched together is the new resolution of the world.
Clinging to the success of deceit once ago, what they've set their sights on tomorrow
is just a rerun of the past anyway. That's their resolution.
Today's point of view. The past's point of view. What do you see?
 
Our every day ends in just a moment. That emptiness will haunt you for life.
Start from fearing the end, because we will likely forget.
Live life and death with daily joys and music at your side.
Your cells came from the edge of space, a line connecting directly to my corpse.
You took my hand while crying, your hand that was already no longer.
My hand that hadn't ended yet is starting your hand from here on out.
 
Begging the broken world in tears, even if I go crazy I'll sing.
The overtone of speculation and the resolution of the world resounding together.
I came to say I wanted to see you, it's not a period here but a comma.
If you connect that pain and regret it forms the resolution of the world.
What do you see? What do you see? What do you see?
 
17.12.2020

Playtime's Over Now.

Today's come to nothing. It's time to head back now.
Leaving the messy room for one last pint on the deck.
You're still keeping that young wind on the cuff of your shirt.
I softly stroke the horizon on which morning will surely come before long.
Playtime's over now.
 
The pattern on the rug is so strange. With pizza sauce and beer on it.
I've decided to rewrite our lives that are so dirtied at times.
I understand getting mad at our slovenly politicians, but
I'll need you to pay me back for the TV cracked by a wine bottle.
Playtime's over now.
 
At times, I feel uneasy about having lost myself. Antidepressants, warmth of a hand, welfare,
notice of absence and absence of self. Sandstorm, apprehension, now deceased. 17 years old.
Playtime's over now.
 
Leafing through Swann's Way. Condom in the trash can.
Friend sleeping in the toilet. Wait, no, who are you again?
I can go however far, but with this face that says I don't dare to.
To sit down in this world is to have a drink with tedium.
Playtime's over now.
 
In one of our hands, we lost an easy game.
See, we dropped it just now. Just like a car key.
'Stop it, you'll die!' You say, like it's funny.
'Stop it, youll die!' It's true. It's true.
 
At times, I feel uneasy about having lost myself. A sunny weekend, alcohol, serotonin,
deep sleep and dark seafloor. Sandstorm, apprehension, now deceased. 17 years old.
Playtime's over now.
 
Only a headache left by wild passion. A dream from some time ago, dried up in midsummer.
Scattered aspirations and recklessness. A smile and defenselessly catering to you.
What is correct is sometimes hysteria. The rotting railroad ties of the track.
The smell of the dampened soil in May. Rather than stepping on shadows, it's more like shadows stepped on.
 
When we've finished cleaning up, when morning has come,
I wonder where we'll go.
You mumble, about that.. About that,
'We're each going back to our own lives.'
 
Playtime's over now.
 
17.12.2020

The Eclosion of the Sun

The cluster of silvergrass beckons, as if it has gone mad.
The sunlight is tinged red. Summer exposes things that can't be photographed.
That is, the soon to arrive eclosion of the sun.
 
Sewing life as a state onto a bonnet,
I transport my body along a white line someone has drawn.
 
Depression clining to the scenery. At that moment my memories cramped.
 
I cut my finger on a seashell buried in the desert.
It's coming again today. A sad omen of a dark color.
It's finally here, the eclosion of the sun.
But, only on one side was there a wing missing.
 
If it's seasons, they've gone and left just now.
They've left this dull song behind.
We were separated so far from each other,
a distance so far we'll never make it back again.
 
I've given up on it floating in the sky.
The sun lit up the city.
Today, when I stopped starting anything--
I acted like it was just any other day.
 
04.09.2020

Don't Leave Me Even a Single Sorrow

Versions: #1
The steam whistle blows so curtly.
'We're here already,' says the one journeying.
If I cry, it's painful. If I laugh, even moreso.
So don't leave me even a single sorrow.
 
Parting with your family, separating from your friend.
'Wherever I live, I will be me.'
You had best stop thinking like that.
Call yourself the wheel tracks of your life.
 
I loathe all these sad things,
and yet for us, it's only ever goodbyes.
Don't go anywhere,
live in this town forever.
Adding years on until we die,
I want us to live life laughing.
 
If you can, get out quietly please.
And don't leave me even a single sorrow.
 
The one journeying has such little baggage.
Such little homesickness and so few unforgettable memories too,
because he leaves everything behind at the starting station.
Aomori station is littered with sentiments.
 
'A dream is a dream,' he bragged.
But someone said that a dream is one because it's granted.
Don't lend an ear to those who've realized their dreams.
If it's your dream, then dream it.
 
I loathe all these painful things,
and yet we are only ever fighting.
Don't go anywhere,
live in this town forever.
Adding years on until we die,
I want us to live life laughing.
 
If you can, get out quietly please.
And don't leave me even a single sorrow.
 
You fighters, heal your wounds.
You must not fall mid-battle.
You say 'This life isn't so precious,'
but someone who holds you dear is right here.
 
The road before you is long, but the end will come quickly.
It's only from when you start hurrying that everything begins.
I don't know what'll happen from now on.
That's everything that I wanted to say.
 
I loathe all these lonesome things,
and yet we are only ever setting out on our journeys.
Don't go anywhere,
live in this town forever.
Adding years on until we die,
I want us to live life laughing.
 
The steam whistle is blowing, so I'm going to go too.
Don't leave me even a single sorrow.
Don't leave me even a single sorrow.
 
04.09.2020

Fish Bowl

Versions: #1
The tracks in the railyard
creak like an asthmatic.
They sense that rain is close.
 
In the parking lot of a shopping mall,
Haru had sat on a bench
waiting for the ATM to open.
The sunrays were as they had been. At a wearisome volume,
jazz plays like it's from a music box.
Because it's aware that it has come to suit this town.
It's singing as much as it can.
 
We were filled with impatience.
Because we live in a fish bowl.
We were filled with fear.
Because we live in a smoke room.
 
We are neither impatient for nor fear today ending.
A new slate for a single day,
like it was traced by eye.
And we don't even stifle our yawns.
 
Would someone please cut the power to the air pump?
If not, then I'll do it.
 
Look, these are the edges of the world.
Shuttered down storefronts, orbital expressway Route 7.
The stadium rock flowing from the local radio
plays an exaggerated engine roar and was caught in a speedtrap.
 
The words 'Boredom isn't so bad'
can only be said after you've known something other than boredom.
And the signboard at the pachinko parlor,
that's the edge of our world.
 
04.09.2020

Word Processor

Versions: #1
Caught in a blackout membrane.
Liberation movement for the
sensitivity that'd severed all brain activity, path to recapture.
The consequent solitary armed uprising.
 
With regards to whether to live or die,
counting backwards from the end, it's a suburban memento mori.
An alley of shuttered down shops, iron bridge on the outskirts of the city,
the spirits of our ancestors always stand watch.
 
My secondhand car keeps making a hundred thousand kilometers
worth of round trips on a highway from each word to the next.
If I keep nursing my dreams unfulfilled at the beach,
then even those will finally be seen through to the end.
 
If you are to bury my bones, then let it be in my hometown.
But the final resting place of my words is right here.
Ten years later, a hundred years later,
I'm confident that they're seeds that will bud somehow or another.
 
I sing the songs we were told not to sing.
I scream the words we were told not to speak.
It must be a passion strong enough to burn
those tears of defeat we once shed.
I glared at tomorrow as if to say 'Like I'd let it end here,'
and desperately shot down my impulse of annoyance.
Without calling it hope, what is it to be called?
 
Reality and fantasy weigh equally
and become a lead downpour. From the hole it opened in that chest
I can see your faded thing called tomorrow.
 
The word processor that kept speaking in mathematical formulas.
Even the shortest little line ripped out and thrown away,
now that some years have passed
at last it bores into even rock-like despair.
 
I sing the songs we were told not to sing.
I scream the words we were told not to speak.
It must be a passion strong enough to burn
those tears of defeat we once shed.
 
I glared at tomorrow as if to say 'Like I'd let it end here,'
and desperately shot down my impulse of annoyance.
Without calling it hope, what is it to be called?
 
I sing the songs we were told not to sing. My head spins.
 
29.08.2020

Spirits

Versions: #1
Hanging up the fantasies of his bygone days,
a sentimental teenager passes by a shadow on his way out.
 
His coat is wrapped around someone long-departed, and now the winds are all that lie ahead.
With frigid fingertips, he opens the door, leaves behind his lingering affection, and heads into town.
Downtown, he sees familiar faces and hears silent laughter. The city is deafeningly quiet.
His happiness recedes into the periphery of his awareness, as he trades it away for cheap pleasures.
He's been nursing all his small regrets for long enough to be sick of it,
and when he returns to his one-bedroom apartment, the apathetic setting sun
stirs all these feelings together, and he starts to see things unseen.
 
Spirits. Nightfall. Voicemails. An empty apartment.
 
23.05.2020

Convenience Store Umbrella

Versions: #1
The convenience store umbrella,
drenched in 365 days of scornful laughter, does not return to the earth.
It isn't trash, nor is it a possession.
It isn't useful, nor does it get in the way.
In the afternoon, it's pecked at by crows.
At night, it scowls at the constellations.
 
The crucified trees by the road say to 'Look.'
I went with it, and in the far off sky I looked up at--
winter clouds, and a ballistic missile flying at 3 kilometers a second.
 
'The winter rain is so cold,' I whisper,
and close my eyes again.
 
13.02.2019

Isaac

Isaac, one carton of nervous.
Glee and ache, less than a step apart.
Factories, black smoke the campus.
Langston, just a little puff of drama.
 
A well-dressed woman massaged the back of a Shinagawa Station congested and coughing.
In the crouching streets one early morning,
Another day for criminals who for their kind are hunting, jam-packed with the noise of peepers, experts, and speculating.
'You villains don't have the guts to look each other in the eye,' the least self-aware of them all is shouting.
Many things mistaken for being upstanding. Corrupting delusion,
Obituaries in autumn, the discharge of a gun,
The first snow that's on the run from Touhoku in December.
 
Isaac, one carton of nervous.
Glee and ache, less than a step apart.
Factories, black smoke the campus.
Langston, just a little puff of drama.
 
If someone always feels pain whenever they hurt someone else, that pain will lead to their death.
You might even say that kindness is a disease.
Whenever someone spits on the ground, every last one of us will step on it as we move forward.
In blizzards or stormy trails, even if there's no light before our sails.
So desperate that we'll break our body, grasp death and insanity.
Like a mine caved-in, humanism burying people within.
Hope will one day disappear. But only when breath leaves our bodies.
 
Isaac, one carton of nervous.
Glee and ache, less than a step apart.
Factories, black smoke the campus.
Langston, just a little puff of drama.
 
12.02.2019

If You Sing to the Sky

Versions: #2
Cut through fact or fiction, and look up to the heavens, the eternity that flew away
If you sing to the sky, pay no heed to regrets.
Inevitable, inevitable, a future which will surely come to pass
For that reason, claw onward!
 
A mirage, paddling through a river of tears for so many years
Goodbye, I must go!
No matter what you lose,
The unforgotten bitterness and shame
Will adorn your heart
 
Cut through fact or fiction, and look up to the heavens, the eternity that flew away
If you sing to the sky, pay no heed to regrets.
Inevitable, inevitable, too bright to break off from,
To that future, claw onward!
 
Cherished desires can't be achieved without hurting someone
The ideals you don't mind losing will be your signpost
Laugh if you must, take the scorn with you too
 
Your voice that day, what you wanted to say, what you couldn't say
If you sing to the sky, shake free from your regrets.
Inevitable, inevitable, in throwing away, you carried too much
For that reason, claw onward!
 
Anguish becomes a sudden downpour.
The quagmire of scorn clings to your leg, not letting you go
Confined within a rain cloud
The isolated sky
Flight from the captured darkness
The things I gripped slipped out immediately.
The things I believed passed away too quickly.
And yet, with just this warmth they left behind,
This life is worth living.
Emerging from the muddy stream of disappointment
A streak of light shining from the dull, cloudy sky
By then, the rain had already lifted.
 
Cut through fact or fiction, and look up to the heavens, the eternity that flew away
If you sing to the sky,
Your voice that day crying something, what you wanted to say, what you couldn't say
If you sing to the sky, go along with your regrets.
Inevitable, inevitable, in ending, you lost too much
For that reason, claw onward!
Finite, finite, our slim remaining future
For that reason, claw onward!
 
05.02.2019

Crushed Beneath an Empty Sky 空っぽの空に潰される

Versions: #6
I collected too many letters that I had to get rid of my own belongings.
 
Just as I finally start to feel satisfied, the truth is it feels empty again.
 
''It's better to have more money'', ''It's better to have more friends'',
 
''It's better to have more peace of mind'' - what is ''happiness'' in the end?
 
We spell ''frantic (必死)'' as ''certain (必) of death (死)'', we spell ''dazed (夢中)'' as ''inside (中) of a dream (夢)''.
 
And, right now, frantic and dazed, we're running through the seasons.
 
Our injuries wouldn't stop growing, but we had friends who could laugh and say, ''It hurts!''
 
But don't envy your past self - that person's only an imaginary rival.
 
If you're happy, you should laugh, right? When you're sad, you should cry, right?
 
So what should I do when I feel so empty? Tell me! Tell me!
 
These curt seasons come one after another, saying goodbye without any reluctance.
 
And on top of that, what should I even look forward to? Tell me! Tell me!
 
I'm crushed beneath this empty, empty, empty sky.
 
In the end, ''humans beings'' seem to have one or two things missing.
 
Do you think we're lacking something? Do you think we're in need of something?
 
I only have as little baggage as I need, and for me that's more than enough.
 
So let's see if I can run again. Let's see if I can run, frantic and dazed.
 
Today comes to an end, and another today comes around. I can't go anywhere as they stream past, but when I said I hate the things I hate, I've finally washed ashore at this ''today''.
 
That's why today is an anniversary: the anniversary of when I finally took a stand.
 
But there's still just one problem: today feels completely empty.
 
If you're happy, you should laugh, right? When you're sad, you should cry, right?
 
So what should I do when I feel so empty? Tell me! Tell me!
 
The people and things we loved abruptly disappear, saying goodbye without any reluctance.
 
And on top of that, what should I even look forward to? Tell me! Tell me!
 
I'm crushed beneath this empty, empty, empty sky.
 
Would things get easier if I complained? Would things get easier if I did nothing but cry?
 
Does it feel nice to say ''I want to die''? Do I even want to take another step from here?
 
I left something behind somewhere, in a classroom or maybe back in the womb.
 
''Happiness'' must be learning to love your permanent flaws.
 
If you're happy, you should laugh, right? When you're sad, you should cry, right?
 
So what should I do when I feel so empty? Tell me! Tell me!
 
I came all this way from a dark place, only to return back to another dark place.
 
But in that time, what can I even do? Tell me! Tell me!
 
I'm crushed beneath this empty, empty, empty sky.
 
03.02.2019

amazarashi - Sayonara gokko さよならごっこ (Pretending to Say Goodbye)

Melancholy scatters in the wind and casts a shadow where it gathers.
 
Our footsteps incessantly remind us of our impermanence, and I get so lost when I peer into the depth of your eyes.
 
We used to have hopes, right? About what lies ahead?
 
The reason we joke and laugh is that the road we travel is so dark, and I guess it's our job to turn on the lights.
 
I'm all to familiar with pretending to say goodbye, but I still broke into tears as I waved farewell.
 
This deep red sadness of ours gets darker, and darker, and then becomes night.
 
Even if it's inevitable that tomorrow will come around, I didn't ever say that I wanted to live for it.
 
Even though I'm better off quitting, I still keep on having dreams of the future. Of the future. And it's all your fault.
 
All the things we need to accomplish are hanging from the crescent moon.
 
Even wandering the roads at the night, your figure radiates reassurance.
 
It takes time to trust - especially when it's trusting another person.
 
But if we're on the same road, there's no reason to stay distant either.
 
When all's said and done, if I'm going to share something, then I'll need someone to share it with, and I'll need myself too.
 
I'm all to familiar with pretending to say goodbye, but I still broke into tears as I waved farewell.
 
This deep red sadness of ours gets darker, and darker, and then becomes night.
 
If love was there from the very beginning, we never checked to be sure.
 
Destiny takes us along to meet the most unexpected people, and they leave a lasting impression in the depths of our hearts.
 
If there's hardship, we can bear it. If there's pain, we can share it.
 
But I couldn't shoulder your burdens all the way up to your fated destination.
 
Farewells are always hard, no matter how many times I've done them, so we're only pretending to part ways. This is just a goodbye game.
 
It's a game where I trick myself by saying ''I'm sure we'll meet again.''
 
''I'm sure we'll meet again.''
 
I'm all too familiar with pretending to say goodbye, but I still broke into tears as I waved farewell.
 
These deep red lies of ours they dampen, and dampen, and then morning arrives.
 
I guess the fact that we've grown apart means that we were united at one point.
 
If we called it ''giving up'', then I'd feel guilty doing it.
 
But it's fate. It's fate. That's what you called it.
 
31.01.2019

amazarashi - Monster バケモノ

Versions: #3
He was a monster. A beast that feeds off lies.
 
I met him in the park, like an abandoned dog on a Monday morning.
 
Amidst the dew-coated morning glories, collapsed beneath the midsummer sun, he was gasping, and he looked at me with frightened eyes.
 
When I stroked his patchy fur, his mouth twitched, in spite of his starved body.
 
Perhaps out of pity, or sympathy, or something else entirely, I thought, ''Maybe I should give him one of my lies''
 
Like how even though right now I want to disappear, I'm pretending that I don't.
 
Or right in front of my family, ''I always leave for school right on time'', and when I get home, I'll say ''Today was a fun day, too'' - lying about that.
 
''Eat these up, little monster. You seem to be enjoying them plenty, aren't you?''
 
He was a monster. A beast that feeds off lies.
 
After I filled his stomach, he took a liking to me, and grew right before my eyes.
 
Me, an outcast. The bridge where I jumped.
 
The window of a hospital room. My sobbing mother. The evening glow in a grove of trees.
 
A greedy expression showed on his face, and as time went on, his body grew fatter.
 
Since he keeps pestering me more and more for my next lie, I guess I'll give him another one, shall I?
 
Though the truth was just that I screwed up at killing myself, I lied about it.
 
Right in front of my family, timidly smiling, ''I was so lucky to have survived.''
 
And so now today, just as easy as breathing, I tell lies.
 
''Eat these up, little monster. You've grown plenty big, haven't you?''
 
And now the monster has grown even taller than I am.
 
Since I'm just a pile of lies, won't he eat me up once and for all?
 
''Living was so hard! It was painful, and I couldn't take it anymore! But it would have been the most painful to have other people think that I was suffering!''
 
When I finally screamed out what I really felt, the monster shrivelled before my very eyes.
 
But hey, I'm still hiding some lies - lies that even I fall for.
 
Even though all I want is to live happily even after, I keep telling these lies.
 
If they're trifling delusions meant to fill the gap between our ideals and our reality, then maybe lies are inevitable for us, being so weak.
 
And now today, everyone out there is telling lies.
 
''Eat those up.'' Don't we all have two sides to us: the real thing, and the shadow lurking behind.
 
He's a monster. A beast that feeds on lies.
 
One by one, each and every one of us hides him behind our backs.
 
And that secret, the swelling that we try to cover up, is like a shadow that looms behind you. It's pretty big, isn't it?
 
08.01.2019

amazarashi - Untitled 無題 (Mudai)

Versions: #2
amazarashi - Untitled
 
On the first floor of a wooden apartment, he was absorbed in painting pictures.
 
He wanted to paint in his own way. He wanted to depict the world around him.
 
From a young age he loved to draw, since everyone praised him for it.
 
But these days the only person who praises him is his girlfriend living with him.
 
But he was happy with that. Even though their daily routines kept them apart, he treasured the letters she would leave behind on cherry blossom themed stationery.
 
Before he knew it, dawn had broken. Before he knew it, the day had passed.
 
Before he knew it, winter had ended. And that day, he sold his first painting.
 
Their circumstances were already starting to change.
 
In the following month he sold all his paintings.
 
The world around them kept on changing.
 
Everyone lauded his paintings.
 
His girlfriend, looking so happy, said, ''I was right to have believed in you.''
 
''I was right.''
 
Sometimes he received letters of appreciation from the buyers of his paintings.
 
He didn't feel very appreciated, but he didn't feel hated either.
 
He was delighted by all the treasures that began to pile up in that small room.
 
He hoped that things would stay this way forever.
 
He grew to like painting more and more.
 
He wanted to paint more magnificent paintings.
 
He wanted to paint in his own way. He wanted to depict deeper truths.
 
He completed his masterpiece. Even his girlfriend smiled and said, ''It's wonderful, isn't it?''
 
It was a painting of true human nature, shameful enough to make anyone avert their eyes.
 
But everyone scowled at his painting.
 
People left like the tide was dragging them away.
 
The world around them kept on changing.
 
People derided him, calling him talentless.
 
The arguing grew, and his girlfriend finally left him.
 
''I guess I was wrong to have believed in you.''
 
''I guess I was wrong.''
 
On the first floor of a wooden apartment, even now he's still painting pictures.
 
He wanted to paint in his own way. Ultimately, he wanted to depict his emptiness.
 
From a young age he loved to draw, but at this point he no longer remembers the reason.
 
There's nobody around who praises him anymore.
 
He no longer even gives names to the paintings that keep piling up.
 
Many months must have gone by without him realizing, but that day, he sold a single painting for the first time in a while.
 
The world around him kept on changing.
 
A letter arrived from the buyer - a single sentence on cherry blossom themed stationery: ''I was right to have believed in you.''
 
''I was right.''
 
''I was right to have believed in you.''
 
''I was right.''
 
''I was right to have believed in you.''
 
''I was right.''
 
08.01.2019

amazarashi - Sayonara Gokko さよならごっこ (Anime/TV Dororo ED)

amazarashi - Pretending to Say Goodbye
 
Melancholy scatters in the wind and casts a shadow where it gathers.
 
Our footsteps are so talkative, scolding us for our aimlessness, but I get so lost when I peer into the depth of your eyes.
 
We used to have hopes, right? About what lies ahead?
 
The reason we joke and laugh is that the road we travel is so dark, and I guess it's our job to turn on the lights.
 
I'm all too familiar with pretending to say goodbye, but I still broke into tears as I waved farewell.
 
Amidst this deep red sadness of ours, I get lost, it gets darker, and then it becomes night.
 
Even if it's inevitable that tomorrow will come around, I didn't ever say that I wanted to live for it.
 
Even though I'm better off quitting, I still keep on having dreams of the future. Of the future. And it's all your fault.
 
01.01.2019

amazarashi - Majority Rule 多数決

Versions: #2
If we say that hurting others is a sign of cowardice, then maybe the world is the biggest coward of all.
 
Kind people walk along with their backs hunched over, their only consolation is to trample the city streets as they walk.
 
The times aren't gradually changing, they're storming right past us, and those who don't embrace it have to go against the headwimp.
 
Those suffering the pitiful sorrow of isolation have held their breath, and they echo fake cheerfulness through busy streets in vain.
 
If our value systems and right and wrong are determined by majority rule, then it just might be that we chose the wrong place to be born.
 
It's fine, though. It's fine. This little room in the corner of the world might just be the perfect place to wait for our opportunity.
 
All in favor? All opposed? Let's weigh the pros and cons, and let's get a show of hands.
 
All in favor? All opposed? Let's weigh the pros and cons, and let's get a show of hands.
 
The majority always passes the blame onto the minority, and the Haves make the Have-Nots their victims.
 
The strong put down the weak to make themselves feel better, and the city thinks of the countryside as nothing more than a garbage heap.
 
If humanity's only last resort for solving conflict is war, then it seems like evolution didn't make it to it's end.
 
In fact, since we're all just beasts feigning to have wisdom, is possible our motivations were nothing more than hunger.
 
If the uncanny and the ordinary are determined by majority rule, then maybe we should start doubting even the most obvious things.
 
It's fine, though. It's fine. This town was left behind and forgotten, but that might just be perfect for plotting our evil deeds.
 
All in favor? All opposed? Let's weigh the pros and cons, and let's get a show of hands.
 
All in favor? All opposed? Let's weigh the pros and cons, and let's get a show of hands.
 
How much cash you have, how many honors you have, how many friends you have, how many medals you have, how many times you took the lead, how many awards you have, how many times you tried your best, how many times you were praised - Our value is not a number!
 
Theres's no way you can let other people decide your worth.
 
The world's always changing, and yesterday's treasure becomes today's trash.
 
If lawlessness and justice are decided by majority rule, then maybe a hundred years from now, we'll all be criminals.
 
It's fine, though. It's fine. This world is beyond broken, but that might just be perfect for starting over from scratch.
 
All in favor? All opposed? Let's weigh the pros and cons, and let's get a show of hands.
 
All in favor? All opposed? Let's weigh the pros and cons, and let's get a show of hands.
 
All in favor? All opposed? Let's weigh the pros and cons, and let's get a show of hands.
 
All in favor? All opposed?
 
29.12.2018

amazarashi - The Rain Bringer 雨男

Versions: #3
Countless worn-out faces adorn the train windows on the Toyoko Line overpass.
 
When it comes to me, am I lucky or cursed? Your everyday aimless dropout.
 
Out-of-contact friends keep piling up, and I daydream about my dad when he was young.
 
Have the black clouds over the riverside really been darkening my destiny?
 
I walk aimlessly through the mud with loneliness by my side for days, composing ''the meaningless hymn of a coward'' - like it's the wailing of a lost child.
 
Don't call it shameful to get worked up over people talking behind my back that way.
 
I've learnt too much now to waste away my life in the darkness.
 
Like how it echoed in my chest when I was shown kindness. I would die just to feel it again.
 
And I really do think that. So laugh! Go ahead and laugh!
 
I peer into a puddle, head hung low, and I trample the tear-stained face that gazes back.
 
Things really aren't going great. It's really coming down hard again today.
 
Now that you mention it, it's rained like this before.
 
Now that you mention it, it's rained like this before.
 
Now that you mention it, it's rained like this before.
 
It's rained like this before.
 
I hated talking about the future, so I never wanted to make promises either.
 
But a call came for the first time in a while: it was Satoshi, shi-faced drunk.
 
Same old accent from back home. At times in our conversation he seemed close to tears.
 
After some idle chatter, I promised him, ''Let's go out for drinks soon''.
 
Don't turn the impulsive days we sped through into ornaments to look back fondly on.
 
Don't write off our shameful past and the today that adjoins it as pointless.
 
On days of heartrending downpour, there aren't that many things left to hang onto.
 
So let me go as far to say that the future is in our hands.
 
I have to keep my promises to my friends. That alone is the reason I can't die now.
 
And I really do feel that way. So laugh! Go ahead and laugh!
 
I peer into a puddle, head hung low, and at the same old ''me'' that gazes back, I cast a bitter smile. It's really coming down hard again today.
 
Now that you mention it, it's rained like this before.
 
Now that you mention it, it's rained like this before.
 
Now that you mention it, it's rained like this before.
 
It's rained like this before.
 
Pessimism and optimism fold in like a house of cards. A wound that aches whenever I look back.
 
Funny stories which I should have forgotten a long time ago.
 
Will I sink or swim?
 
Should I go or turn back?
 
Will it rain or shine?
 
Should I try it or quit?
 
Will I win or lose?
 
Can I stand back up again?
 
Can I start over again?
 
Should I stay alive or give in?
 
''No rain lasts forever.'' ''Every night comes to an end.''
 
I've given up on entrusting my hopes to tomorrow with sayings like that.
 
In the middle of this pouring rain, can I still run when I'm this drenched?
 
It's really coming down hard again today.
 
Now that you mention it, it's rained like this before.
 
Now that you mention it, it's rained like this before.
 
Now that you mention it, it's rained like this before.
 
It's rained like this before.
 
18.12.2018

amazarashi - Cryogenic Sleep 冷凍睡眠

Versions: #2
amazarashi - Cryogenic Sleep
 
I press my cheek against the frigid concrete that I lean against.
 
In front of me, I see dust floating in the sunset.
 
Saying nothing, unable even to move, all I ever do is make up some poorly-conceived fantasy.
 
I remember your father saying, ''It seems like we won't be able to save you'' and the very moment he said that, you squinted your eyes and smiled.
 
''If you make a wish, it will come true'' - the inality of those words is the only that continues to loom over my life since then.
 
My heart still pounds as I sleep. Only if you should ever die, would I be able to die too, I suppose.
 
It's been a few mounths since then, living paycheck-to-paycheck.
 
I'm the perfect embodiment of ''being dead while still alive''.
 
Around the time I made a habit of always plotting an escape from this world, an insurance company introduced a new product.
 
On TV, the radio, the internet - lately I've been seeing these blurbs everywhere: ''Your assets will grow while you sleep!'' - Cryogenic Sleep
 
''May the vivid color of these beautiful days never fade away'' - no matter how hard I pray, that just won't come true.
 
I understand that, an it's too late to do anything about time already past.
 
So hurry up, let me forget everything, and put me to sleep!
 
Through life preservation measures, my breath continues normally as I sleep, and my hair is tied back by inseverable threads.
 
It's unbearable. Like a nightmare. I just want to forget it all.
 
No, I won't forget. I don't know. Good night.
 
Since then, I've contined to sleep for sixty years, and time has passed by as a literal nightmare.
 
All of creation, as it changes, is unsympathetic and cold, but that's still a benefit from my perspective.
 
The entire landscape has changed. Even your hospital is here no more.
 
At first it was a painful life, but now I feel like I can get by somehow.
 
With a cheerful attitude, I'll start over with a new life.
 
''I've already forgotten about you'' - as if that could ever happen.
 
A single spirit dwells in every beautiful thing, and through that fundamental connection, ''the beautiful'' is all linked.
 
For example, the same way homesickness comes back to life at twilight, every beautiful thing conjures up your silhouette.
 
And after days of constant torment at the hands of that ephemerality, this dead end certainly blurs the distinction between life and death.
 
Humans are creatures that can endure loss, but that doens't apply to me, since I tried to run away from it.
 
''May the vivid color of these beautiful days never fade away'' - no matter how hard I pray, that just won't come true.
 
I understand that, and it's too late to do anything about time already past.
 
So hurry up, let me forget everything, and put me to sleep!
 
Through life preservation measures, my breath continues normally as I sleep, and my hair is tied back by inseverable threads.
 
It's unbearable. Like a nightmare. I just want to forget it all.
 
No, I won't forget. I don't know. Good night.
 
Nothing but an empty husk, I walk down the boulevard - and I hallucinating? I see a woman tho looks exactly like you.
 
In that voice, laughing vivaciously in the weekend sunlight, I see a silhouette that looks so assuredly like yours.
 
Suddenly that woman ran up and hugged me.
 
I accepted her embrace, and part of me bloomed in those wrinkled hands.
 
Her smile was just like a breath-taking painting.
 
Our faces smilling with squinted eyes was exactly what I had longed for.
 
That alone was my desire, the desire that I would even see in my dreams.
 
This alone was my desire, the desire that I lost.
 
''May the vivid color of these beautiful days never fade away'' - no matter how hard I pray, that just won't come true.
 
I understand that, and it's too late to do anything about time already past.
 
So hurry up, let me forget everything, and put me to sleep!
 
Through life preservation measures, my breath continues normally as I sleep, and my hair is tied back by inseverable threads.
 
It's unbearable. Like a nightmare. I just want to forget it all.
 
No, I won't forget. I don't know. What should I do?
 
I press my cheek against the frigid concrete that I lean against.
 
In front of me, I see dust floating in the sunset.
 
Saying nothing, unable even to move, all I ever do is make up these poorly-conceived fantasies.
 
I press my cheek against the frigid concrete that I lean against.
 
In front of me, I see dust floating in the sunset.
 
Saying nothing, unable even to move, all I ever do is make up these poorly-conceived fantasies.
 
All I ever do is make up these poorly-conceived fantasies.
 
All I ever do is make up these poorly-conceived fantasies.
 
12.12.2018

amazarashi - Miracles 奇跡

Versions: #2
amazarashi - Miracles
 
The life that comes into this world tonight, and the life that dies away, and the life that's fervently shining, I've been living it so long in vain.
 
I often think ''On nights like these, I'd like to disapperar'', but then ''Well then disappear! Why have you been living until today?''
 
I'd like to think it isn't vain, so I've forced myself to run up until here.
 
And from here I plan to do the same. But what do I do if that's all in vain?
 
I often think ''On nights like these, I'd like to disappear'', but if it ended now it'd all be in vain, and since I want to leave something behind, I'll live.
 
At any rate, whether that's right or a mistake, only the future knows, so for now all I'll do is run.
 
If having been born in a miracle, then breathing is a miracle too.
 
Should I laugh here, should I cry here? Either way, it's still a miracle.
 
Lots of things happen in life. If you live long, that involves many pleasant and enjoyable things. But of course the same number of the opposite.
 
Thinking ''It's not supposed to be that way'' is just our hubris, and the events that triggered the thought exist countlessly in our past.
 
But even if we regret them one by one, at this point there's nothing we can do.
 
What matters most is in a deeper place, it gets close to the reason I was born.
 
From when my mom and dad met - even further, from my whole lineage, the place where I'll end up is the beginning of the cosmos. What are the odds?
 
Where did these feelings of ''I love you'' come from?
 
Where are they vanishing off to? Why are they vanishing?
 
If being loved is a miracle, then loved is a miracle too.
 
I was happy back then, so I'm glad it happened. I won't regret those miracles.
 
The frustration of biting my lip and crying, without any way to fix my helplessness, the pain and sadness of separation, almost like half my body being pulled away: If I can say those are miracles too, and if I can believe that, then even worthless things can become special, since they're miracles as they are.
 
If living on is a miracle, then having stumbled is a miracle too.
 
Walk it off or give up. Do as you'd like. That in and of itself is a miracle.
 
If having stumbled is a miracle, then this gloomy haze is a miracle too.
 
Stand against it or pull back. Those are our answers, and that's a miracle.
 
04.12.2018

amazarashi - Anomie

Versions: #2
amazarashi - Anomie アノミー
 
I don't know if things like love even exist. It's a riddle that can't be solved - I want to vomit.
 
The snow won't melt - I can't throw up.
 
In the plastic Milky Way, swimming is off limits because of all pollution.
 
Adam and Eve sleeping in a vacant brothel - that's the meaninglessness of the modern era.
 
On the outbound platform after the last train, Huck Finn sleeps next to a pile of vomit.
 
From Adam's perspective, is the fruit from the tree of knowledge more like a child from Eve's former marriage or more like a pachinko ball?
 
And in the red-light district of some city, where is Eden? It's everywhere.
 
Photos of a family that smiled in the morning made the headlines in the evening news.
 
I turned off the TV and returned to reality. And I looked down at the corpses that lay before me.
 
Even though I took a bite from the forbidden fruit, I didn't grow a sense of shame.
 
I'm the one who slayed God. But I'm also the one who will be slain by God.
 
Who's the idiot that ever sang, ''Love is such a simple thing''?
 
Anomie! Anomie!
 
If that's the case, then embrace these 6.8 billion sins with your shameless love!
 
Anomie! Anomie!
 
Life carries with it, like a sabre hanging from its belt, a body that rots from inaction.
 
From one side, it looks like a monster. From the other side, it looks like a saint.
 
We're forbidden from stealing things. That's so we don't have our own things stolen.
 
We're forbidden from killing people. That's so we ourselves don't get killed.
 
Even though I took a bite from the forbidden fruit, I didn't get banished.
 
I'm the one who forgave God. And I'm also the one who God forgave.
 
Who's the idiot that ever sang, ''Love is such a special thing''?
 
Anomie! Anomie!
 
If that's the case, the forgive these 6.8 billion sins with your wanton love!
 
Anomie! Anomie!
 
I don't place trust in God. I don't place trust in textbooks.
 
''History'' is no more than trash that won't burn. ''Morality'' is no more than toilet paper.
 
Everything's a lie. Everything's a lie. But once I said that, I had nothing left.
 
I lost my reason to love.
 
I lost my reason not to kill.
 
I'm the idiot that's been singing, ''Love is such a complicated thing''!
 
Anomie! Anomie!
 
And if that's the case, was there ever a life I could have saved with this temperamental love?
 
Anomie! Anomie!
 
Save me!
 
Save me!
 
03.12.2018

amazarashi - Us Against the World ぼくら対せかい

Versions: #3
amazarashi - Us Against the World
 
A young couple and their kids, playing with fireworks in a mall parking lot.
 
The dazzling lights of a baseball atadium and a Don Quixote, like meteorites from another solar system.
 
Wages shit, pissed, and drunken way - a suburban town obsessed with anything that glitters.
 
My colleagues died out on the highway. That's one every year these last ten years.
 
We squished bugs with a value system of ''It's all over once you look for a meaning in life''.
 
As far as we're concerned, ''philosophy'' is the poetry scrawled on pub bathroom stalls.
 
Only when we've drunk too much does ''I can put up with this'' cross our minds, but the next day, drowned in sweat and invoices, the thought vanishes in the blink of an eye.
 
Sunlight shines on you through the trees, as you work at the railway switchyard, shining on the ''you'' that once changed the world.
 
At point, it was just me and you, in a tranquil place we called our world.
 
With our bodies intertwined, we nursed our youth until the bitter end.
 
Outside the school building, a sunset and mushroom clouds.
 
Blazer ribbons and the furthest ends of isolation.
 
In shirts stained with oil, we loaded up our fantasies in the back of a truck.
 
The past, the future - us against the world.
 
The past, the future - us against the world.
 
You know, I get the feeling that we've left something behind, but I've already forgotten what it was.
 
Maybe we're actually the ones who have been left behind.
 
Always impatient, as though she were on some kind of errand, the name of the girl who hurried past us was surely ''time''.
 
I can't even see her back in the horizon anymore. I can't even remember her smile.
 
Our wounds have left us. The sun has set on our scars.
 
Though our old wounds ache, they've been drowned out by the sounds of alarm clocks.
 
At one point, there was an endless wilderness before us.
 
It took courage whether we kept going or not.
 
To all my fallen friends: I will never leave you behind.
 
Our sensitivity drove us to stage an armed uprising.
 
From our disadvantageous position, we seized victory.
 
That former glory is all wrapped up, but it's missing an address.
 
The past, the future - us against the world.
 
The past, the future - us against the world.
 
We believed that the world would change. We believed we'd be the ones to change it.
 
Even though we've gone our separate ways, I've got no doubt that those feelings haven't changed.
 
Treachery, deceit, baseless accusations, brown-nosing, excuses, verbal promises, manga cafes, crowded trains, transparent flattery, apologies, embarassment and disparagement, friends in whom we can confide our true feelings, former brothers-in-arms, funny stories that never once made us smile, music, sons and daughters, political power, right and left, our past, present, and stories of our future - a moment of relief on the weekend, caressed by a mild breeze in the park.
 
In our joined hands, there is enough warmth to make up for time gone by.
 
The sequel of the world we saved that day, the after of the world we knocked down that day, even though we suffer, we've lived through it so earnestly.
 
The past, the future - us against the world.
 
The past, the future - us against the world.
 
The past, the future - us against the world.
 
The past, the future - us against the world.