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30.12.2020

140503 At Dawn

After leaving my home that was seperated from the world
From the perspective of a 19-year-old who didn't want to be emotionally drained
The trainee life
seemed almost perfect
But thanks to the sociophobia I'd formed
My human relationships were zero
I always prepared two masks
Defensive image, hide it behind my back
and go while
hiding myself thoroughly
As if I'd become a criminal, I just
couldn't take a step outside of
the jaillike dorm
We grow apart
Whether it's the friends, family or whoever is surrounding me
They can't stay and now they're passing me by
I'm still missing my arrows on the target of human relationships
 
Pretending I'm not lonely, pretending I'm not in pain
Pretending I'm okay in vain,
Pretending so hard that I'm strong in vain
Don't come through the wall I put down in front of me while I'm pretending
Don't leave me on this island in the spread-out sea¹
 
23.05.2020

People

yeah yeah, breeze
People passing by
People who sink in
What kind of person am I
Am I a good person?
Or a bad one?
Everyone has their own ratings
I'm just a person too
 
Everyone would live their own lives
Everyone would love
Everyone would hope
Be forgotten
 
People change, like I did
Nothing stays the same in life
Everything is an event that passes eventually
 
mm, Why so serious?
Why so serious? Why so serious?
mm, I'm so serious?
I'm so serious? I'm so, I'm so
 
Who cares
Who cares if it just passes by
Who cares
Who cares if we get hurt
 
Sometime it might hurt
Sometimes we might cry out of our sadness
Who cares
Who cares if we live that way
 
Flow the way water flows
Maybe at the end something will be there
Extraordinary live, ordinary life, every life has its own way
Good is just good, you know
Good is just good
 
Nothing happens the way you want it to
Everyone handles discomfort
Repetition of dramatic situations sometimes make life tiring
People are like that
 
We want if we don't have, we don't want if we have
Who says people are animals with wisdom
It's definitely animals of regret to me
 
People change, like you did
Nothing stays the same in life
Everything is an event that passes eventually
 
Your ordinary is my extraordinary
Your extraordinary is my ordinary
Your ordinary is my extraordinary
Your extraordinary is my ordinary
 
Who cares
Who cares if it just passes by
Who cares
Who cares if we get hurt
 
Sometime it might hurt
Sometimes we might cry out of our sadness
Who cares
Who cares if we live that way
 
23.05.2020

Burn It

Versions: #1
I see the ashes falling out your window
There's someone in the mirror that you don't know
And everything was all wrong
So burn it till it's all gone
 
Yeah yeah yeah burn it
The sound inside me
Yeah yeah yeah burn it
I want it want it want it woah
 
Yeah yeah yeah burn it
The sound inside me
Yeah yeah yeah burn it
I want it want it want it woah
 
Let's go back to the past days
The time that destroyed me
Envy, hatred or maybe complex
A life that is caught by resentment
 
After I tasted success,
What is different than before
Well, not much has changed
Let's burn the past me
 
From the top to the very bottom it will burn
Light it, light the fire, well in the end, what will be left
I don't know I don't know after everything burns
Only ashes might remain or would it be the same
 
I see the ashes falling out your window
There's someone in the mirror that you don't know
And everything was all wrong
So burn it till it's all gone
 
Yeah yeah yeah burn it
The sound inside me
Yeah yeah yeah burn it
I want it want it want it woah
 
Yeah yeah yeah burn it
The sound inside me
Yeah yeah yeah burn it
I want it want it want it woah
 
Burn it burn it yeah burn it burn it
I face you, in your deepest parts
Something you don't want to show, or hatred, abhorrence, even anger
How unbelievable are those too
Maybe they are really mirage
Maybe it's true, with those as causes of blame
We are maybe forced to have passion
I hope you don't misuse 'back to the basics' Don't be afraid
 
Light a fire, Light a fire
Whatever it turns out to be, light a fire
You of the past, you of the future
I don't care what it is, yes you, light a fire
Whether you become a burning sun
Or ashes that remain
Your choice and decision is always yours
Boldly giving up is also a kind of bravery, don't forget
 
I see the ashes falling out your window
There's someone in the mirror that you don't know
And everything was all wrong
So burn it till it's all gone
 
Yeah yeah yeah burn it
The sound inside me
Yeah yeah yeah burn it
I want it want it want it woah
 
Yeah yeah yeah burn it
The sound inside me
Yeah yeah yeah burn it
I want it want it want it woah
 
23.05.2020

Interlude: Set me free

Set me free, yeah, even if I know it won't turn out as I wanted, mm
Set me free, yeah, even if I know this is not what I want, mm
 
Set me free I'm floating in the air freely
Set me free I don't know why, but these days I'm feeling blue
Some days it's rock bottom
Other days I'm flying in the sky
Why why
 
Set me free, yeah, even if I know it won't turn out as I wanted, mm
Set me free, yeah, even if I know this is not what I want, oh no no no
 
Set me free, yeah
Set me free, yeah
Set me free, yeah
Set me free, yeah
 
Set me free
 
22.05.2020

Strange

[Intro: Agust D]
Everything in dust
Do you see?
Well, well, well
Everything in lust
Oh, what do you see?
Well, well, well
Someone tell me whether life is pain
Well, well
If there is a God, tell me whether life is happiness
 
[Verse 1: Agust D]
The world is a giant system
In it, either opposition, war, or survival is inserted
Life that we can't refuse
With dreams as its collateral, the capitalism injects the morphine called 'hope'
Wealth breeds wealth and tests greed
The rich longs even for poverty
In the world there's only black and white, those two
In an endless zero-sum game, the very end is worth seeing
Polarization is the ugliest flower in the world
It's been long since the truth's been eaten away by the lies
Who benefits the most?
Just who suffers damage the most?
 
[Pre-Chorus: Agust D]
In a sick world, a person that is well
Isn't it strange how they are treated as a mutant
In a world with its eyes closed, a person with theirs open
Isn't it strange how now they are made blind
Someone who wishes for peace, someone who wishes for war
Isn't it strange how they are each at the end of their ideologies
They tell you to have dreams, though no one has it
There are no answers, isn't it strange
 
[Chorus: Agust D]
Everything in dust
Do you see?
Well, well, well
Everything in lust
Oh, what do you see?
Well, well, well
Someone tell me whether life is pain
Well, well
If there is a God, tell me whether life is happiness
 
[Verse 2: RM]
You think you got taste?
Oh babe, how do you know?
I mean for God's sake
Everything's under control
The choices you’ve been given
Are all preferences controlled by the capital
People talk
'My feed explains me'
No matter how much money is in your grasp
Everyone's a slave to this system
The dog necklace and dog house you are so busy bragging about
All day, fighting over whose glimmer more
Now even you won't know
Oh baby, what's your name?
Polarization, the flower that's already bloomed
A round nail that has been hammered into a square hole
Even so, I roll on, however so, like this
In each of their chicken coops, everyone claims they are fine
In a sick world, a person that is well
I don't think it's strange that he is treated a mutant
In a world with its eyes closed, a person with theirs open
I think it's more strange that only they have theirs open
Someone who wishes for peace, someone who wishes for war
The wordplay that changes as easy as the flipping of a palm
It’s the kind of world where a dream has become an option, but
There’s no answer, that’s the answer
 
[Chorus: Agust D]
Everything in dust
Do you see?
Well, well, well
Everything in lust
Oh, what do you see?
Well, well, well
Someone tell me whether life is pain
Well, well
If there is a God, tell me whether life is happiness
 
22.05.2020

Moonlight

Yeah, yeah
Okay, okay, okay, okay
Yeah
Three years have passed
Agust D
Honestly, I don’t know how many songs to put in
Fuck, I’m just doing it
 
The beginning was small, Daegu, yeah, from a basement in Namsandong
To a penthouse in Hannam the Hill now, ha
The Peter Pan who still cannot wake up from his dream
In my head, the reality fights with the ideal tirelessly
 
My biggest enemy is the anger inside me
The more dreadful is the battle with the laziness inside me
Sometimes I resent God, asking why he made me live a life like this
What I’m doing, and if I love music at all
 
Sometimes I ask myself again, ‘if it’s possible to go back
Will you go back?’ Well, I’ll have to think more about that
One moment I feel like I’ve easily earned what I have
And the next moment I’m compensated for the fucking hard works I’ve done
 
But I’m still hungry, would this be karma?
The emptiness that I feel after flying fucking high
Although it’s been more than 10 years since I started in Namsandong
It’s the same that my head is a mess, fuck that
That moonlight that shines on me at dawn
It’s still the same as then
A lot changed in my life, but
That moonlight is still the same
 
That moonlight that shines on me at dawn
It’s still the same as then
Changes are fated to happen to everyone
Perhaps, how we change is what our undertaking is about
 
Sometimes I feel like I’m a genius
Sometimes I feel like I have no talent
Sometimes songs write themselves like crazy, but then
When I’m stuck, I’m stuck like there’s no way out, yeah, right now
I wrote Verse 1 fucking fast
But can’t make Verse 2 no matter how hard I rack my brain
It probably would be the same for life, all or nothing
There’s no parallel anyway, it’s a matter of choice
 
There would be no eternity for anything
Being called immortal is fucking overwhelming
I started just because I liked music
But the adjectives they attach to my name feel too much sometimes
 
What can I do, I should just keep running
What can I do, I should just keep hold of things that I’m grasping
What can I do, I should just pay back what I’ve received
If you think you’re gonna crash, accelerate even harder, you idiot
That moonlight that shines on me at dawn
It’s still the same as then
A lot changed in my life, but
That moonlight is still the same
That moonlight that shines on me at dawn
It’s still the same as then
Changes are fated to happen to everyone
Perhaps, how we change is what our undertaking is about
 
22.05.2020

Honsool

Today as well, done with the day’s work
I return home right away
When I go in my room
It’s time to fully face me
The room full of silence
After I’m done showering
I detoxify with a drink
Maybe a drink’s the way to end a day that I can’t quite remember
 
An exhausting day, I somehow pushed through
A head-splitting schedule, hmm this is the third or fourth in a week, uh
Let’s drink just enough then go to bed, well it’s not like I can sleep anyway
I’ll just worry about tomorrow’s stuff when tomorrow comes, fuck I don’t care
 
Now I’m feelin’ like I’m flyin’
Now I’m feelin’ like I’m flyin’
 
I end up not having any snacks, since I feel like I’ll throw up if I put something inside me
Since the alcohol’s kicking in, let’s get honest about my life
Oh yeah money, reputation, wealth
Trophies and stadiums too It’s scary sometimes
And it makes me want to run away from it all, hm
Thought that I’d live life partying everyday if I became a superstar
Expectations freely hitting reality on the back of the head It doesn’t matter, anyway, well
Tomorrow comes again, it gets dark
Whether it’s this kind of me or that kind of me
I’ll hang in there another day
 
Now I’m feelin’ like I’m flyin’
Now I’m feelin’ like I’m flyin'
 
22.05.2020

I think I'm gradually becoming an adult (28)

The older I get
The more I understand the world
But still, was not knowing the world better for me?
 
Looking out at the night view that’s
Completely different to the inside of my room with the lights turned off
The words I murmur quietly
 
I guess I’m slowly becoming an adult
I can’t remember
What it was that
I wanted I’m scared now
Where did the fragments of my dream go?
 
I’m breathing but
It feels like my heart isn’t working
Yeah, now, you see, to become an adult Is to become an adult
Who finds it too hard to hold on to a dream
 
Thought it would change once I turned twenty
Thought it would change once I graduated
Shit, if I turn thirty like this, this
Okay, so how did I change?
 
Sometimes, all of a sudden, without reason, tears fall
The life that I hoped for, the life I wanted, that kind of average life
Whatever happens, I don’t care anymore
 
Just one day without any concerns
Just one day without any worries
To live, to live, to live
 
I guess I’m slowly becoming an adult
I can’t remember
What it was that I wanted
I’m scared now
Where did the fragments of my dream go?
 
I’m breathing but
My heart feels like it’s not working
Yeah, now, you see, to become an adult
Is to become an adult who finds it too hard to hold on to a dream