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123Lunatic

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The Moon (Majora's Mask) vs The Sun (Teletubbies) - Epic Pixel Battle (April Fool's Day Bonus)

It's time for EPB!
It's time for EPB!
It's time for EPB!
The sun from Teletubbies!
Versus!
The moon from Majora's Mask!
Go!
 
Sun:
Oh oooh! What do we have here?
I don't want to make you cry but you're gonna scream in fear.
You, a big bad? Zelda's not even in your game at all!
Now prepare yourself, you're about to fall!
 
Moon:
You're about to meet with a terrible fate
Meeting me is one of the worst events you'll have to undertake
Not even your Teletubbies are going to defend you
It's not three days, but three bars, that will be enough to end you!
 
Sun:
You must feel so important fighting against the small frys
Or don't you have the stones to pick on those your own size?
You're controlled by a buffoon, so don't act so smug.
You've been unmasked, you don't get a BIG HUG!
Come on, Tubbies, let's zap to more informative TV.
You think you're all powerful, but deep down you're just meek.
Without Majora, you don't have any power, they say!
Now say goodbye, my children: 'GO AWAY!'
 
Skull Kid:
For a sun, you aren't all that bright.
Thanks to your show, children's minds aren't quite right.
 
Moon:
If I wanted to end the world, it's because of you guys!
Drink all your tubby toasts, choke on them, and die!
 
Majora's Mask:
Show no mercy, I won't give your life length.
My power is growing, I attack at full strength!
 
Moon:
You're too hot-headed, sunshine, prepare for the apocalypse!
Thus your chance of victory was Termina-ted in the eclipse.
 
Who deserves the victory?
Who will be next?
You- 'YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE!'
 
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Lunatic Vs. Morsay - Epic Pokemon Battle #10

Epic Pokemon Battle!
Morsay!
Against!
Lunatic!
Go!
 
Morsay:
Morsay! Back for revenge.
You're good at fighting, but in rap I'm one step ahead.
You're show off because you beat me a few times?
But, man, give me a break! You've always been behind me!
I didn't need anyone's help. I defeated all the champions.
I'm not the one who needs a CUT to stab bushes!
Can't you swim? Seriously, what a jester!
You don't need training, you need re-education...
 
Lunatic:
Personally, it's not my grandfather who forgot my first name.
I could have called you ASSHOLE so keep it down a little bit!
Let's not talk about speed, let's talk about haste.
You may come first, but I made you finish second!
I can swim but I prefer to SURF on victory!
I have TCs, CSs, I'll show you my STRENGTH, you'll see!
Choose your Pokémon. I'm sorry! I'm first.
It's not my fault your grandfather always liked me better.
 
Morsay:
Okay you have a good DEFENCE but I have a better ATTACK!
You think you're proud of your Nuzlocke? All I lost was my RATTATAC.
I'm much more epic than your whole clique of pissers,
Pack up and leave or I'll take you in my sofa-bed!
Don't mention my grandfather, I haven't had a family in a long time.
I treat myself with HYPER POTION no need to go home to my mom.
Did you get a discount coupon to get your free bike?
I spent 1 Million and I didn't even use it!
Go back to your love life with your nurse.
While my grandfather, we all know it, is banging your mother!
And while you were hanging out, while you were training,
We shared to the little brothers and your mother, what a bitch!
123Pathetic, I can call you as I please too!
You'll never be as EPIC as my CHHHHAAA-RI-ZARD!
Your team, STAB! Your PAYNYSS, STAB!
All you can do now is crying and you know what? STABBBBB!!!!!!!
 
Lunatic:
Okay....
Insulting my mother and my team, everything I hate!
Do you want me to talk about your family? At least, what's left of it....
Your grandfather did great things. Your sister is respectable.
You're the bad little duck, buddy. Just a loser!
 
Professor Chen:
You disappoint me, Morsay!
 
Lunatic:
Those words signalled your decline.
To be denied by your last loved one, hard to be an orphan....
But... what do you think you can win?
I already took everything from you, don't make me keep going!
I killed your RATTATAC, stole your dream of being a Master,
To finally take away the love your ancestor had for you.
Did you forbid your sister to give me the card? She did it anyway!
Call me brother-in-law, she and I love each other!
 
Morsay:
Nah! Nah! Naaaaah!!! He's lying...
Wake up, it's just a nightmare, everything will go back to the way it was.
I have money, I have talent, I have a team of thugs!
I was master before him. For a moment....
Come on, GO AWAY! Take your girl and go away...
All I've lost against you is time, so let me go!
You didn't experience anything, you didn't suffer anything, you don't know me!
Why don't you go cry about all your Pokémon that died in battle?
 
Lunatic:
Face it, you're just a dirty kid
Who's trying to erase the traces of his past as an orphan.
You abandoned your sister to prove your worth
And you failed, now you're alone, so go ahead and cry!
It's not a nightmare, look in the mirror.
You will see a vanquished man, consumed by despair!
You're just a poor rival. Braggart and not social.
You dreamed of light but you are only my shadow, I embody your ideal!
 
Who deserves to win?
Who will be next?
You have the power!
 
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Gillowel vs. Morsay

Epic YouTube Poop Battle!
Morsay!
Vs.!
Gillolel!
Go! Go!
 
Morsay:
Truand 2 La Galère! You're going to pay dearly!
You hide on the internet we come from the DISTRICT!
With your RELAX modes you want to share with the little brothers?
All you want is money, so go fuck your mother!
I fuck your wife, upstairs, your grandmother, in the basement,
And your kids, if they're good, I'm not going to boil them!
You've never interviewed me, yet I have a lot of plans,
Make you click, diss you, stab you, you and your subscribers!
 
Gillolel:
Hi, everyone, it's Gillolel. And I'm in RELAX mode.
To fix a little piece of shit who stuffs syntax errors.
Stay in your suburbs, you and your raging troop,
I only interview youtubers who bring blue thumbs!
Gillolel touches the sky, you touch the tax credits.
You should be looking for a job, like me, that's what it's for!
Here, only I make the law! On Youtube I am the king.
Look at you, barking, you can't do anything about my voice!
 
Morsay:
I'm playing your voice in OFF, I'm crazy and I'm dick slapping you!
The Internet loves me. I'm clicking and I make money!
I'm slashing your whole family, even your chick, this MILF!
I get excited and my flow makes you short of breath, even your ears whistle!
I bring a fag, I tie you up AND HE SODOMIZE YOU!
You'd even get busted by Tai-Tai, and that's ridiculous.
The 15-18 propelled me, I respect them, they are my brothers.
CLICK, YOU BITCHES! LEAVE COMMENTS!!!!!
 
Gillolel:
Okay, you win, Gillo goes into FURAX mode!
You're gonna shit yourself, kid. Get the Dulcolax ready!
Your rhymes are like your guns, you shoot blanks, you're just a pussy.
Even my kids, for Halloween, wouldn't dare wear your clothes.
No, I didn't get hacked. This time, I did the math right.
Get on your knees, I'll put the rope around your neck!
I'm a potential disser. For you this is the last session.
I will spare the whole world the episode 2 of 'Revenge'!!!
 
Who deserves to win?
Who will be next?
You have the power!
 
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Diallo Vs. 1-Up - Epic Pokemon Battle #9

It's Sunday and like every Sunday we're going to talk about bugs. Indeed there are two kinds of insects: those that are useless; and the others...
 
Epi...tiful Pokemon Battle!
1-Up!
Against!
Dalleomite!
 
1-Up:
Hop hop hop! I'm One-up and I don't serve shit.
And you think you're on top of your game, languishing in your ball?
I'm a bug, a real one, not a common impostor.
You shame your race for serving trainers!
We're supposed to be useless, piss off all humans,
Make their lives hard and be proud.
I disabled Lunatic to death.
I have existed myself! You're neither good nor bad!
 
Diallo:
Calm down, squirt, or I'll be violent!
I have a heavy flow and against me you don't stand a chance.
I'm bad, just enough, to be able to resist
And play the handicapped without even having to die.
In life two types of parasites exist,
The ones we forget and the ones who resist!
You've done your time, everyone forgot you my Chicken.
I'm in the Pantheon as a real numbskull!
 
1-Up:
You, a numbskull? Let me laugh, you have work to do!
You have PSY attacks, so you have somehing between your ears .
I'm small, I'm feverish, you have level and skill,
You could be indispensable when I'm useless!
And don't be like you're important, you only appeared once or twice.
You've been a substitute for a series of COMBAT types.
You're not bad, you're ridiculous, seriously look at you!
You have wings and you can't fly? What DI-ALLO are you from!!!
 
Diallo:
What are you saying? I don't get it... say hello before you talk.
Ridiculous, me? At least I had time to evolve.
I'm bad internally but I still want to win.
A real troll shows little but knows how to get noticed!
We're both useless, only one thing separates us.
You're cute but you're dead and I'm not, that's why you're so angry!
Then get out of here!!! Go back to your clouds.
You're just a stuffed POKEMON, I'm a wild POKEMON!
 
Who deserves the vic... defeat?
Who will be next?
You have the power!
 
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Council of the 4's Diss (First Generation) - Epic Pokemon Battle #8

This is Bob.
Bob is not on the Council of the 4
So he decided to spam the comments.
Because Bob is a very dumbass.
 
Epic Pokemon Battle!
Olga!
Aldo!
Agatha!
Peter!
Go!
 
Olga:
Make way!
I'm Olga, ice mistress.
I'm the one who throws a cold and freezes you on the spot.
Freezing you in horror, sublimated by my class!
I am the most deserving and important,
The first to turn down all these rookie vermin.
Sometimes I let it go, but not without making the slightest gesture,
Leaving you, you wankers, finishing the leftovers!
 
Aldo:
Are you done, Lady Glagla? I'm Aldo and I'm hungry.
For me it's snack time and for you it's the end!
Poor girl! You're crazy... let me break the ice.
I'm strong, I'm hot, it's going to be SUPER EFFECTIVE!
I have concrete muscles, a team of body-builders,
Victory? Drop it! None of you are scary.
I'm going to turn you into yogurt, except for you, the witch...
You're so out of date that you belong in a cemetery!
 
Agatha:
Huh, what?!! Who's talking about me?
May he be cursed for life! But rap I don't like it...
 
Ectoplasma:
So let me do it mistress, I'll be there in a hurry.
These idiots who attack you will learn politeness!
My flow from the DARKNESS sounds like a funeral song.
My PSYKOS attacks, Aldo, will break your vertebrae!
As for Olga and Peter, Type ICE and Type DRAGON,
You're the only ones in the world using these stupid types!
The darkness BREAKS you, blocked in the HYPNOSIS.
It is serious to insult the black queen and anyone who dares...
Will get cold in the poison, end up with necrosis.
Death is a symphony of which we are the virtuosos!
 
Peter:
Not another word, Pokémon! Peter is speaking to you.
Fighting? You're crazy! I'm not afraid of anyone.
On your knees in front of the master or I'll get out of my hinges.
I knew how to tame dragons, I will be able to submit you!
Agatha represents death? That's what's waiting for her.
I already have some stronger and much stronger substitutes.
Hey, athlete! Hit me! Ha ha! All in your arms, nothing in your head.
On the back of my DRAGOLITE nothing stops me!
 
Olga:
BOREAL WAVES!!!!! So, does it hurt?
May your dragons weep, welcome to the icy age.
Considering my position, I've fought more battles than all of you combined.
I have more experience and I'm especially the sexiest.
 
Aldo:
WHAT?!! You're just a frozen tuna! Your number of fights is for sure, I have it!
I'm so trained, I'm eating your ice types with a frozen bite.
Peter! You dirty kid. Come and fight if you're a man.
Drop your dragons and I'll fight you in five seconds at the most!
 
Agatha:
Oh, what the hell! Let's get to the point... I'm not going to let some slut do it to me!
Or by a young moron, the PSY type shoots the bullies.
Peter, your dragon type is beautiful but it's useless...
The three of us are so good that almost no one has reached you.
 
Peter:
But my dragons have no weaknesses.
Just a reduced resistance to the type everyone's leaving behind.
Being first is no use, I'm the last of the guards.
In a show you always have to save the best for the end.
 
Who deserves to win?
Who will be next?
You have the power!
 
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Bolde-Lee Vs. Rouroulette - Epic Pokemon Battle #7

Nooo, not rouroulette!!.. Oh hello and welcome to the Hard-Corner! Fortunately, death is not a fatality in video games. I have a tape to show you all this!
Come on!
 
Epic Pokemon Battle!
Rouroulette!
Against!
Bolde-Lee!
Go! Go!
 
Bolde-Lee:
Welcome to this dojo, you little beetle.
Oh! But I recognize you, you're that little bird.
Who has not been able to fly far enough, nor high enough,
To dodge my assaults, thus resting in peace...
Are you asking me for a rematch? So don't disappoint me.
Let's go for an avalanche of kicks and punches!
Attention! This is not a training.
You may die... more seriously.
I accept all challenges but do not accept defeat.
Let's let the facts speak for themselves, my victory is already made.
I knocked you down once, didn't you find your grave?
Then let me drive you down, dig, to the next world!
Look at you! An egg that has never been able to hatch.
METEORE FIST! I'm sending you out there!
And if you come back again, braving death forever,
FIRE FIST! I will burn your soul on the flames of your body.
 
Rouroulette:
I'm coming back from heaven to make you go through hell.
From where I am, you're just a speck of dust.
You're right to have gloves, be careful with my claws!
You're just a little worm I'm eating for dessert!
I'm crazy! Nothing scares me.
Death is neither a fatality nor a mistake.
You beat me, and then what? Nothing left!
Locked up forever in site number one.
But you're a rock, Lee. I feel sorry for your adventure....
You beat me, but soon after you're overwhelmed with wounds.
Your master is ashamed of you, he abandons you, what a bastard!
While Lunatic loves me, I am his second capture.
I will be remembered. We already forgot you!
I wander in the heavens, watching your captivity.
So did you like my TORNADO of rhymes and violence?
Yes, I know, I'm CRU-AL, we call it revenge!
 
Bolde-Lee:
Revenge is a dish that I enjoy with delight.
Seeing this rage that emanates from our altercation.
Are you losing your temper? You lose the fight!
I have a STEEL mind your NORMAL type does not affect me.
You're so memorable, Lunatic replaced you.
You're so pathetic you've never evolved.
And you've never learned to fly, so get ready to fall.
It's time to get rid with a STRATOPERCUT!
 
Rouroulette:
No wonder, my dear friend, I am not finished yet.
Let me correct a couple of things because you're full of shit!
The first is to dare to talk about my estate.
A pathetic replica, made in your nation.
The second is to say that I lost my temper.
I told you I'm crazy! That I am without faith and law!
And the third, your STRATOPERCUT, is not for this time.
I trained in heaven and I send it back to you 100 times!
 
Who deserves to win?
Who will be next?
You have the power!
 
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Thefish Vs. Magikbal - Epic Pokemon Battle

Hello, geeks! What's new on the disses? We'll see about that right now!
You've had too much!
 
Epic Pokemon Battle!
Magikbal!
Vs..!
Thefish!
 
Thefish:
Raaaaah! I have CHARI-RAGE!
No time to play ball, so get out!
Get out of your Pokeball and show me your face.
Unless you're afraid of my carnage!
I am the king of the waves, that's for sure.
No one can defeat my flow and certainly not a loser.
Don't take your chances or it'll end in drowning,
My rhymes are violent and will take you away like a CASCADE!
No matter how electric you are, the power doesn't flow.
I don't know what Lunatic has, but one day he'll realize
That you're not his type, so listen to me...
You don't belong on this team GO AWAY!!
What have I got to fear against such a small creature?
You're insignificant, your whole life is just a erasure.
One thing is certain, at the slightest opening,
Your life will take a whole new turn, you will suffer my BIT!
 
Magikbal:
Start-up in progress... please wait...
Threat search... no danger!
The opponent is in front, the victory is certain.
Launching arguments about a hundred.
The enemy is not very smart, a lack of analysis.
Has he forgotten that my electricity paralyzes him?
Considering his weight and build, there's nothing to worry about.
An ETINCELLE and it will definitely be a breaded fish.
You talk about fighting, but I do.
You splash people while I electrocute them.
You're tall, impressive, but you scare people!
As for me, looking like an object, I'm interesting!
Humans think I'm a toy. They think you're a tuna!
Then change your tone before the thunder thunders!
No matter how much you weigh three tons, it wouldn't be in good taste
That for you the storm growls. So be careful....
 
Thefish:
Who's talking to me about weakness? Water is only conductive.
I have strength and my strength is destructive!
You're a degenerate! A failing Pokeball.
You don't even have sex!!! You'll have no descent...
You're not a magic ball, just an imitation.
I impose respect through INTIMIDATION!
I'm tall and heavy, but at least I have some elegance.
Then learn DESTRUCTION it will give us a break!
 
Infomercial Host:
Good morning, everyone! I offer you a Flash sale!
You will finally be able to get rid of this stain!
Hey, big guy! All that grease and dirt...
We took it away from you, admit it, it's less disgusting!
You got washed, rinsed, by the wash ball.
So go and fail elsewhere, to other shores....
 
Magikbal:
I'm done with you and I have to admit it,
Your rap was powerful... like your DIP attack....
 
Who deserves to win?
Who will be next?
You have the power!
 
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Giovanni Vs. Morsay - Epic Pokemon Battle #4

Seriously truand2laGalère raps better!
Draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
 
Epic Pokemon Battle!
Morsay!
Against!
Giovanni!
Go!
 
Morsay:
Morsay! Truand 2 La Galère!
Send me your henchmen, share to your little brothers
By the tens, by the hundreds, they won't be able to do anything.
I'm not afraid of anything... I'm a real gangster!
So you steal the kids' pokemons?
ZUBAT, RATTATA, what interesting pokemons...
While you're at it, steal some great candy from them.
And just to prevent... also some potions!
Because I'm going to murder you, verbally, morally,
Mentally, violently, even literally!
I have no mercy, I take your henchmen one by one.
I'm going to stab them so much... they'll call me godfather!
I'll bleed you to death. It'll make tomato sauce.
And since you're Italian, I'm going to cut off all your legs.
You're making a mistake by confronting a guy this big...
But at least you have enough to make spaghetti bologna!
 
Giovanni:
All right, are you done? Can I go back to my business?
Taking care of a kiddo... I don't have all day!
Go back to school! Go learn respect!
Or I'll call your parents..........well, I won't need it.
I have Italian roots and I am proud of it!
I know where I come from, I knew my mother, I knew my father.
And today... I respect my brothers.
My henchmen are my family and we're going to blow you to dust!
Your shitty humor won't hurt me
I'm stirring billions! What do you say, kid?
You think you're tough, but you're going straight into the wall.
You're not a little gangster... just a scumbag!
 
Morsay:
Stop it! I'm going to cry! I never knew my father...
On the other hand, the whole world knows my grandfather!
And how are you talking about family? You don't have any friends!
Your henchmen are here for your money. Not for your Panzannis!
I have a rare and class pokemon and, look my Charizard!
Let me see yours? Oh my God, my eyes hurt!!
Only dinosaurs? You have a prehistoric style.
I understand why you lose so often against Lunatic.
 
Giovanni:
Why so arrogant? You have a lack of confidence?
Look how you're dressed, it looks like you just graduated from first grade.
You want to be a champion? Here, here are some TCs!
Because you lack technique, so go back to training!
If you want a duel, come on, my victory is certain!
I'll tell you a secret I'm the last arena champion!
And frankly... you're talking about my Pokemons
But Lunatic beat me twice, you, the triple minimum!
 
Who deserves to win?
Who will be next?
You have the power!
 
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Yandere Chan vs Monika - Epic Pixel Battle #21

Epic Pixel Battle!
Ayano
Vs...
Monika
 
{Ayano}:
I don't feel any emotions...
Except pity for this girl so neglected she's not even an option.
You're leading a litterature club?
Well now draft your last will 'cause in my plan I won't tolerate any crossing-out!
Don't expect the title of 'Yandere-chan' 'cause you're overrated.
You're boring me but let me take a pic' when I beat the pants out of you!
You're a coward, pushing your friends to suicide and then delete them!
I would have killed them by my own hands, without leaving any trace.
 
{Monika}:
Let me correct your mistakes, let's start with your nickname,
Isn't a Yandere one that is remotely controlled.
I've got all the info, Chan'! Ayano of her true name.
This battle is but a joke, and so is the day you were born.
Why are YOU looking at her? She isn't even finished.
'The guy who wrote this battle must be quite the moron!'
Let me get out of your sight all of her indelicates features. (Wait! What?!)
And now all there is, is JUST MONIKA
 
-What is the meaning of all this?
-Is it me or did she call you stupid?
-Ha! I kinda agree with her.
-Uhhh, Sumashu did you stop the music?
-Uhh, no, I heven't touched anything!
 
{Monika}:
So, This is 'Epic Pixel Battle'? Don't tell me that you like this?
It's loud, rude and badly animated, you deserve better!
I'm gonna write a poem just for you! But before that...
You're all hiding behind famous characters yet in the end you're only nobodies...
Any last words?
 
{Stan Dusk}:
Cutting off my music, now that takes some guts!
My name's Stan Dusk, composer, expect to be decomposed.
I'm just writing peacefully all those music sheets just like a poem
And there's more love inside of it, than you will ever get.
 
{Sumashu}:
Okay, lemme Sumashu, you're gonna get remixed in the blender!
The bitch will tone it down, while I will lead in this dance!
I am Safe and Sound! Not of random bits.
I wish you luck if you try and detune us, I'll leave you to the two sisters...
 
{Madstalker}:
But I'm scared... that for me her heart will go Doki Doki!
We're gonna crush this airhead with a crush for anybody!
You're just an easy girl, we already won this battle.
Do you know why? Because you are SO ALONE!!!
 
{Sainte Séïa}:
No one noticed you, so why do you keep going?
After I'm finished drawing you, I will delete you, embrace your destiny!
Too weak for a debate and so not interesting
(You just destroyed her!!) Easy! I am the mean one here!
 
{123Lunatic}:
I may not have the best pen but I can soar away with it!
You take this too seriously, We're only here to have fun.
In the end, you're just a program, I'll execute you whenever.
Monique is a real name, and Monika 'is a slut!'
 
{Monika}:
Childish, but say, typical from youtubers!
Calling themselves artists but creating music every 3 months.
Geeks like you, I scare some everyday for fun,
Once I am done with the fourth wall, it's your dreams that I'll shatter!
Hidden in your tipeees, you're all begging for money.
Forced to include themself in this battle to feel like you exist.
Using the fan-service so it can be accepted
But this is only a rap for kids, let me just adapt it...
Hi there Mad! Oh... isn't your coloring beautiful!
'It's my big sis' drawing!' Seriously... How old are you?
And don't you laugh the two sound guys, replacements from this season.
Super-Sumashu-Buffon... And... What's your name again?
Then we have 123Lunatic, big pimp of this trickery.
Who has to explain his writting just because how bad it be.
All of you are proud of this? What a success story...
EPB is just a ripoff of the Epic Rap Battle of...
 
-There we go! She got shut down! Let's do this!
 
{123Lunatic}:
You've got no control here.
{Madstalker}:
HA! Got nothing more to say?!
{Stan Dusk}:
With those eyes, green of jealousy...
{Madstalker}:
You make me sick!
{Sainte Séïa}:
We'll have to explain to you how much you stand out here.
{123Lunatic}:
Together, it's time for the...
{Together}:
IN YOUR CLASH!
 
{Stan Dusk}:
You don't have the words to carry a weight against us.
{Sumashu}:
Just give up!
You're just ridiculous, you easily fit in a USB key.
{Stan Dusk}:
Fan-service?
{Sumashu & 123Lunatic}:
Where?
{Stan Dusk}:
You're less esteemed than you think.
{123Lunatic}:
If we had listened to them,
{123Lunatic, Stan Dusk, & Sumashu}:
Instead of you it would have been Sans!
 
{Sainte Séïa}:
I don't draw anybody, so be glad to play the extra.
{Madstalker}:
Sharp as knives, our stylus will disfigure you!
{Sainte Séïa}:
You're playing at being a saint,
{Madstalker}:
And a stalker
{Sainte Séïa & Madstalker}:
We're way ahead of you!
{123Lunatic}:
Your lyrics wouldn't mean a thing if I didn't write all your lines.
 
{Stan Dusk}:
All five of us are connected,
{Sumashu}:
As your friends let us doubt about it.
{Sainte Séïa}:
Did you think about saving
{Madstalker}:
Before killing them all?!
{123Lunatic}:
It's not up to you to deside how our story will continue.
Never forget that:
 
YOU HAVE THE POWER!!!
 
-Nicely done guys!
-For real, she really thought!
-Bye Bye, Monika!
 
Who deserves the victory?
Who will be the next ones?
Tell us in the comment section for the 4th season!!!
 
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The Visitor from the Future VS The Visitors - Epic Pixel Battle #20

Epic Pixel Battle!
The Visitor from the Future!
VS…
The Visitors!
Go!
 
The Visitor from the Future:
Greetings gentlemen, how was your visit?
Looks like the visitors from the past are way past their prime!
Go rot in America, the French have had enough,
Run away or else... Here's what's gonna happen!
You know the missionary? It'll be your penance.
By visiting your mom I can cancel your existence.
 
Godefroy of Montmirail:
Wickedness!!
 
The Visitor from the Future:
Chill out, I'm just ruffling your feathers,
I mean going by your mug, there's no way I'm touching her!
I prefer self-employment to working for Montmirail.
Saving the world, that's my job, check out my gear!
Nothing but pros in my team, no loco hobo.
My crew shows up, you're out, the succession is assured!
 
Godefroy of Montmirail (& Jacquouille):
I openedeth my ears so as to listen to thy words.
Do you make sense of this dialect Jacquouille? (Yes sire, but it stinketh!)
Very well churl, I'll give you a moment,
But know that jousting is a speciality of my time.
If it takes a Godefroy to cool you down, I'm in!
Prepare your bucket, scum! That I perish if I falter!!
I feel wolfing down a meal, this fox will suffice for lunch.
The student thinks he surpasses the master, but thou art rather small.
You'll never be my heir, go play the cup-and-ball!
You're hardly better than me, wretch, you got stuck in Versailles.
My betrothed awaits my return, I leave thee to thy jacking...
I didn't come here to suffer thee, (Okay?!)
 
The Visitor from the Future (& Henri Castafolte):
Shut up! You're like Raph, rewinding time just for a girl.
You can choose your acolytes, but you don't choose your family.
What did we do to God to have you wasting so much cash?
You're reeking of manure! Even zombies envy you.
Jean Reno took a hit. (Now it's Jean to renovate!)
In a band, you'd play bass (With Christian on the keyboard.)
I don't wanna respect you, even your squire hates you.
Put your ass down, you can munch on my left-overs!
 
Jacquouille:
It's my ditty now! Sire, don't listen to this rubbish!
This wizard tells only lies. Ugh! He's but a phony!
 
Godefroy of Montmirail:
Enough! Let us catch this vermin passing for a saint
'And we'll be peeling his rod like with the baillif of Limousin!'
But... Busted ball! Another one of Jacquouille's offspring?
Out of my sight, thy disgraceful face renkles me!
Come back once the audience hath heard of your adventures!
I'd rather be a hero from the past than a beggar from the future.
 
The Visitor from the Future (& Henri Castafolte):
I'm the traveler through time and it seems your time is up!
I've revolutionized the genre, I am the terror now.
And playing nazis ain't gonna bring out a new furor.
I prevent disasters, I won't let you make that mistake.
It's raining acid where I'm from, try and rust me up!
I had a plan to save you, but I'll let you handle it.
You're already history, (Forgetting you would be a good thing.)
Sorry, but to me, you're just a collateral damage!
 
Godefroy of Montmirail (& Jacquouille):
Thy performance seems oddly familiar, it's poorly done.
Come feast to my victory or maybe drink to thy defeat!
You and your clutter can sob like two wenches,
Without real friends, you won't have to be ashames of this duel.
We are like night and day, you and I are quite distinct.
You're slain innocents and also shattered destinies.
(Dame Judith the bitch is dead, sire, it's outrageous!)
It's true. Except your own skin, what have you saved in the end?
 
Who won?
Who's next?
You have the power!